Fragmented Perception Theory
Wait, What Is She Waffling About?
A week ago, I was in a group, having a conversation. Everyone’s sharing their thoughts on a topic and because of the nature of the topic which was “homophobia”, well I threw in my own opinions too. It was a normal interaction until someone said that the feeling they have got about me didn't feel right to them and how they hope they're wrong , they said and I found it amusing.
This is because perceptions are normal. We create them. We have them. We cling to them and I expect people to have their perceptions of me but it baffled me that they seemed to want me to either confirm or disprove their perception which is frankly their personal concern.
Our perceptions of others are stories that we just have to keep writing and they're never the other person's burden and when we try to make people's perceptions of us our responsibility, we sort of become people pleasers.
The things we say in conversations; our opinions, ideas, random comments, they’re just small fragments of who we are. They’re not the full picture, just little glimpses of our thoughts at that moment.
But for the people listening, those fragments are all they’ve got to work with. So what do they do? They take what you’ve said and run it through their own filters.
What are Filters?
A filter is essentially a lens through which each person interprets the world. It exists because no one perceives things in a vacuum. We all bring our beliefs, experiences, and emotions into every interaction. Filters help us make sense of things, but they also distort what’s in front of us and filters are not bad but shaped by our experiences and beliefs.
Here are some of the common filters people use to interpret others and what they actually do:
Moral filter: People take what you say and weigh it against their own ideas of right and wrong. They evaluate your opinions based on whether they align with their moral code or clash with it.
Social filter: They assess your words in the context of what’s socially acceptable or expected. Is this something they think most people would agree with? Would they feel comfortable sharing this opinion with others?
Religious filter: If they have strong spiritual or religious beliefs, they might compare your opinions to their doctrines or values. Does it fit into their faith, or does it feel like it contradicts what they hold sacred?
Emotional filter: This one depends on how they’re feeling in the moment. Are they happy, sad, irritated, or anxious? Their emotional state colors how they interpret your words, sometimes turning neutral comments into something deeper or more charged.
This emotional filter is interesting because it’s so unpredictable. Someone’s emotional state can completely change how they interpret what you’ve said. A compliment can feel like sarcasm if they’re in a bad mood. A neutral comment can feel like criticism if they’re feeling insecure.
Conscious filter: Finally, there’s the personal lens of their past experiences and self-awareness. They reflect on how your opinions resonate with their own life stories, values, or inner conflicts.
By the time your words come out on the other side after the filtration , they’re no longer just your words. They’ve been chopped up, diluted, and reinterpreted to fit into their world. And the “you” they walk away with? It’s not really you anymore. It’s now bits of you mixed with bits of them.
Perceptions Aren’t Absolute
In the end, what we perceive contains some truth but is mostly subjective.
This is how we form perceptions of others: by filtering their words and actions through our own biases, experiences, and emotions. It’s fascinating but also kind of frustrating. Because no matter how much we share, what people see will always be filtered through their lens.
However, those perceptions aren’t absolute. They’re not the truth. They’re just one version of you seen through someone else’s worldview. It can change over time as they learn more about you and you about them. Another person will have a different perception of you based of the knowledge, experiences and beliefs that shape their filters. And it’s not uncommon for people with similar filters to form similar perceptions..
Personally, I do not fear peopls’s perceptions. I welcome it because it would be sad for someone to experience me in whatever form or magnitude and not have a story. As an extremely introverted person, it's peopls’s presence I fear. Not what they think.
It is also a reminder to stop taking other people’s perceptions so personally. Their view of you says more about them than it does about you.
So why that bogus title?
The Fragmented Perception Theory (FPT) is my way of explaining this phenomenon. It’s the idea that our perception of others isn’t a clear reflection of who they really are. Instead, it’s more like a puzzle made up of bits and pieces shaped by our own experiences and biases.And the title makes me feel like an academia so YASS.
With all my love.
And yes, I'll still write you on the 1st but in the meantime, you can write me back.
Te amo.
"bits of you mixed with bits of them"
Absolutely loved that line